A Tribute to My Best Friend.

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to speak at my best friend's (Jan Polson Peterson's) funeral service, and Dale was asked to officiate, a task that he did not feel comfortable with at all. Dale was very humbled. I was grateful for the opportunity to speak, because when Jan was first diagnosed with galbladder cancer I wanted to be able to help in some way, but Jan lived in New Mexico and that was far enough away that we really couldn't do anything. This was my chance to help out and it gave me a chance to think of all of the memories that Jan and I made. After some thought I wasn't sure if I wanted to still do it. I had read her obituary and was impressed with everything Jan had accomplished and I realized that I didn't even know Jan through the second half of her life. I spoke anyway and I am really glad I did. Jason, Jan's husband, was very kind, gracious, and sincere. He told me that he remembered some of the things I spoke about, and was reminded of a few things that he knew, but had forgotten, and learned a few things he never heard before, and that it was just what he wanted.  After the funeral, Dale and I were talking and we both commented that one: we were glad it was over, and two: we were glad we got to talk with Jason and his mom, both opportunities that I think would have been missed if we hadn't been a part of the service.  Jason's mom, Marleen (I think), sat next to us at the luncheon and she talked about how wonderful she thought the services had gone both in New Mexico and here in Ogden.  She talked of Jan and Jason and their friends who were such wonderful friends, and some memories she had about Jan.  She told us that when she would go visit the two of them in New Mexico that she would like to go watch Jan at work in the court room.  It brought up pictures in my mind that made me wish I had had the chance to witness her in action too.  What a wonderful lawyer she must have been. I am grateful for Marleen's thoughts.  Eventhough this was a difficult day, it was a good day.

Here is a copy of my talk. Even though it wasn't said word for word, it was the basic idea and I share it as a tribute to my best friend, who will be missed.

A Tribute to My Best Friend

When I was asked to speak at this service, I was truly honored, but that honor soon evolved into concern. I loved Jan in so many ways, but I lost touch with her in the second half of her life. I felt unworthy for the task, but there was one of us who did keep in touch with her and she wrote a beautiful tribute about Jan that Jay wanted me to read here today.

"I met Jan Polson in 7th grade and she became a big part of my adolescence. Though we were never in the same ward, we did just about every church dance- "Geek meet", girls conference and stake activity together--including sleepovers that always included watching "The Breakfast Club" and "Legal Eagles." We had several classes together in junior high and high school. She loved the Cars and couldn't understand what my obsession with Prince was. In fact as I write this, "Just What I Needed" is playing on the Yahoo radio. She also claimed how much more superior French was to Spanish--so I started taking it too junior year.


We car pooled daily through sophomore and junior year with Mike Davis, Ryan Horning and Amy Higley. In addition, we double dated at a few dances and shared dresses as well. We, like our group of friends, joined just about any club we could--either to get out of class, or have more photos in the year book--don't know which. We were policy debate partner in Junior year and competed together in several tournaments, including one at Arizona State University--the topic that year was how to stabilize Latin America (apparently we didn't figure that one out).


Jan always pushed me academically..always showing a GPA, just slightly above mine and though she was the least domestically inclined person I know, she won the Sterling Scholar for Home Economics. We both were invited and sat for the Presidential scholarship at USU--we went for the free dorm room of course. I couldn't have survived AP Physics without her--well her uncle, Mr. Taylor, taught the class and maybe cut me some slack.


A few days following high school graduation, she and I went on a double/triple blind date--mini golf--where she met her future husband, Jason. I left for the Grand Canyon the next morning and met Arturo that same day...another parallel.


After that, she was off to Logan to USU--because it was what she wanted to do, followed by law school in the North East. After all of that she led/followed her PhD candidate astrophysicist husband to Las Cruces, NM to work as a prosecutor, then later for her own firm. They were nice enough to host us twice on our journey to and from Mexico City by setting up a guest room and taking us to the best greasy spoon in the valley. As of recent her big project was remodeling her house, which she faithfully journaled on Facebook with tons of pictures. I was planning on visiting her this summer to see the changes.


We met last at Laura's wedding in May in Phoenix. We shared the 'L' shaped couch in Laura's living room. We stayed up all night drinking red wine and confessing our lives to each other. In the morning, she told me it was the most honest conversation that she had ever had. She was planning to visit us this spring and go to the Croatian coast.


I am honored that we crossed paths in this life.


Christina J. Hernandez


So as I was thinking about what I could say I thought about everything we ever did together. Jan was the best friend anyone could ever have.
I remember spending many a day at the Polson house listening, singing and dancing to ABBA records. We played “Dancing Queen” and “Money, Money, Money” so many times, I’m surprised we didn’t wear a hole in the record. Poor Rosalee still can’t listen to ABBA songs without cringing.

We spent hours in the hay barn next to the holes where we knew Harveyetta’s kittens were hiding. We would meow forever and then try just being quiet, in hopes that the kitties would poke their little heads out so we could snatch them up and cuddle with them. That was always fun, but that wasn’t all we would do while playing in the barn. We would make benches out of the hay bales which would become our “office” for the playing of Charley’s Angels. I was always Chris, and Jan was always Kelly, naturally because of our hair color. We would then race our bikes up and down the driveway in hot pursuit of the bad guy.

Rosalee reminded me that Jan would often be grounded but it didn’t stop us from getting together. Apparently we didn’t understand the idea behind being grounding, because we would go and sit on our property line, staying on our own properties, and spend the day talking. We felt like we weren’t breaking any rules because we were on our own property. That Jan was always pushing the limits.

Sometimes we would play with our little sisters. We would play cops and robbers, school or maybe “The Price is Right,” but usually we just teased them a lot. Then there was my big brother Todd, who would torment me regularly until I cried in typical big brother fashion. I remember when she told me to just stop listening to him and pretend like he wasn’t even there. She was probably pretty tired of all the crying. She wasn’t scared of Todd. She would fight back. I loved her for that. I think she must have been preparing for her future as a lawyer.

Another friend talks about some of the things that they did together. “I've known Jan a long time. I remember in elementary we used to go to each other’s birthday parties. She was always so much fun. I wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box when it came to common sense and she was always patient with me. Trying to explain to her where I lived, so she could come to my first friend party to see Indiana Jones, was a trip in its self. I just remember her being so smart and willing to help others out who were behind. That's the kind of person she was.
Laura Bunnell

We both had our first jobs working for my Dad at the dairy feeding calves. Then when the Plain City Dairy Days rolled around we were busy getting ready for the event. We didn’t know much about the other criteria for choosing a prize winning calve to show, but it was important to us to make sure our calves were properly groomed, so we would wash and brush them regularly, the funny thing was that I was afraid of the animals because they were bigger than me, but Jan gave me the courage I needed to get the job done.

We also went on several vacations together. One of them was when we went to West Yellowstone over the Christmas break. We were riding on the snowmobile together and we were going around a corner a little fast. We knew we weren’t going to make the corner so we bailed off. The snowmobile ended up going over the edge and down the mountain. It was a steep mountain and we were very lucky because the snowmobile never hit a tree or rolled. It just went down the mountain due to gravity. Todd cussed us out and told us to never leave the snowmobile, Jan wasn't bothered she just said, "What else were we suppose to do?" Todd was able to retrieve the snowmobile, and it gave us a story that we could remember and laugh aabout.

When high school came along Jan was no longer my next door neighbor, but we were still together practically every day. Like Chrissy said, we along with, Ryan, Mike and others joined clubs and went to dances and football games together, we loved to go to the movies and we ate out all of the time. We just loved hanging out together. Jan and the others would tease me about my beater car all of the time, but it later became her beater car.

Ryan was one of our groupies and he had this to say, “The thing I remember
about Jan from growing up was her confidence. She KNEW she could do anything she wanted. I am not surprised at what a success she has become. She knew she could accomplish anything she worked towards. She knew she could get away with anything too - she was the best at forging (sp?) notes for AP English because we were always late getting back from lunch! She was always happy and positive too.
Ryan Horning


Kim Ball remembers some of the fun times they had together. She says, “My mind goes to work trying to remember all the memories made. I'm not much help because I have more feelings than any one memory made with her. Jan's smile and laugh was so very infectious.
My parents took on coaching our recreation softball team for a couple of years. Jan was the best catcher because she always had to wear that stupid mask and retrieve all my bad pitches.
I spent a many days at the Polson's making our traditional cereal snack that consisted of peanut butter, Karo syrup and any cereal that was on hand. We were good at making a good time out of nothing.
Kim Ball


The best thing that a best friend could do is introduce her to her future husband, which is what Jan did. She told me she had this cousin who had just gotten off his mission. She didn’t know if he had a girl friend or not, but she quickly set up a date to watch videos at her house. This is where I met Dale. Luckily for me, he didn’t have a girlfriend, just a really cute cousin who also happened to be my best friend. Now my best friend is my cousin too.

When she met Jason I could tell right away that she was smitten. She never talked about any other guys the way she talked about him. I am glad that they were so happy together.

Laura Young wrote a loving tribute to Jan. It says, “After High School there are very few people I kept in contact with. (Pre-Facebook it wasn’t easy). For 20 years Jan was the best card sender (Christmas, birthday, Congratulations, etc. ), great emailer and random phone checks.


She always had such wisdom. If I needed a problem solved (high school debate - "if they don’t take you seriously just wear your hair up or wear your glasses to look smarter" and later in life with a failing marriage - "just get your stuff in order and leave him, but make sure the kids are taken care of first" she would look at it objectively and come up with a solution.


Jan was always comfortable in her skin and would just giggle when I would tease her for being so chest blessed at an early age. She had the ability to make everyone feel good about themselves.


We talked about getting together forever and finally in May she and Jason came to Arizona for my wedding. I will forever thank God for the wisdom to allow this to happen. The ability to really know the grown up Jan in the last 8 months of her life was a gift that I will always cherish. Honestly one of the smartest women I know, great commonalities, a kind loving wife/sister/friend and a @#!*% of a fighter!


Rest in Peace - see you on the other side
Laura Young

What I remember about Jan is all of the fun times we had. She was always there for me and was always quick to help me out of my rough times and make me laugh. I deeply regret that I lost touch with her for so long. Not because of I wanted to, it kind of just happened, but I thought of her often. When I read her obituary I was so impressed by all of the great things she had accomplished and how many people she touched. I could tell she was a great woman. I can honestly say I never stopped calling her my best friend.

Finally Jan’s sister had these sweet memories to share and I think they were truly what the memories of Jan should be about. She says, “There are a million memories and I just cannot seem to do Jan justice. I am very grateful I have a million memories; I just do not feel I can adequately express it all. We shared countless phone calls that lasted so long the batteries on our phones would die long before the conversation did, even though we both insisted we hated to talk on the phone. Every time any of us sisters went to the Cheesecake Factory or the Hard Rock Cafe, we had to text each other and say we were there because those were our "spots." We took sisters trips together to Las Vegas and Park City where we wouldn't even do big things but it was the funnest time of my life. My sisters are everything and although there will be an emptiness when we are all together I know that she will still be on every sisters trip and hanging out with us at our sister's "spots." Jan was the oldest, our big sister and she always took great pride in that. I take great pride in being able to call myself "Jan's little sister."
Dawn

My dear friend Jan, I know you are in a very happy place with your loved ones surrounding you. Even though it is going to be tough for those of us you left behind, know that you will always be in our hearts. We love you. You will be missed.